


Five

by eckcro



Category: Ben 10 Series, Generator Rex
Genre: Childhood Sexual Abuse, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Repressed Memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-21 17:47:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11949453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eckcro/pseuds/eckcro
Summary: Ben and Rex are about to take their relationship to the next level when a past trauma resurfaces.





	Five

**Author's Note:**

> This is honestly just a vent fic.
> 
> The mentions of past csa are non-explicit.

Ben laughed and wrapped his arms around Rex's neck, letting himself go limp and pulling his boyfriend down onto the bed with him. Caught off guard, Rex landed right on top of the smaller boy.

"Woah, hey!" Rex said, surprised. "What's all this about?" He hastily repositioned himself, aware that he was heavier than Ben and might crush him.

"What? I'm not allowed to want to cuddle my boyfriend?" Ben shot Rex a cheeky grin. He leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to Rex's lips before allowing himself to fall back onto the comforter below.

Running a hand through his styled hair, Rex pretended to consider Ben's statement. Really, though, there was very little to decide. Obviously he wasn't going to pass up a chance to be with Ben, especially considering the hectic schedules they both kept.

"Mmm, alright, you've convinced me." Rex rolled to the side and gathered his boyfriend up to his body, spooning Ben.

Ben snuggled back into Rex, enjoying the feelings of warmth and safety that being held gave him. He hummed contentedly in the back of his throat and closed his eyes. Rex took that as a cue to pull Ben in even closer. He smoothed down the shorter boy's hair and kissed the top of his head.

Of course, that lasted for only a few minutes before they were facing each other again, lips locked together in a passionate kiss. They separated only briefly to catch their breath.

Ben's hands began to roam, exploring his partner's body as they remained attached at the lips. His hands wandered over Rex's biceps and back to his pecs. Returning to Rex's upper arms, Ben felt the dips and curves of the well-defined muscle beneath his hands, curiously squeezing before moving on. His left hand came to rest on Rex's shoulder. Cautiously, shyly, his right hand continued down to feel the abs beneath Rex's shirt.

Simultaneously, Ben felt Rex's hands start moving as well. Strong calloused hands felt up and down his back, stroked down his sides, and came to rest at his hips. Slowly, Rex began lifting up Ben's shirt. He slipped his hands around Ben's slim torso and wrapped his arms around Ben.

A trill of fear traveled up Ben's spine from the point of contact to the base of his neck. Refusing to ruin the intimate moment he was finally -- finally! -- having with his boyfriend, Ben shoved the feeling down. He deepened the kiss, opening his mouth and gently running his tongue over Rex's lips. Getting the cue, Rex parted his lips and pushed his tongue forward to meet Ben's.

By that point, they were both starting to overheat, and it was quickly becoming clear that they would be a lot more comfortable with a lot less clothes.

First to go were the jackets. Ben and Rex struggled, trying to remove the offending articles of clothing as fast as possible. Their proximity made it difficult, and it took longer than it could have to get the jackets off. However, they refused to move any amount of distance from each other, so were confined to awkwardly squirming and struggling out of the sleeves. When they had successfully freed themselves, they tossed the jackets away. Red and green cloth flew from the bed and landed haphazardly off in the corner.

Next came the shirts. Ben tucked his arms and head into the tshirt and pulled it up and off in one swift motion. The black tshirt joined the rest of the assorted junk on the floor, landing with a soft rustling noise. Not too soon after, Rex's tshirt followed suit.

Ben and Rex resumed their exploration of each other's bodies, now unimpeded by clothes -- at least, on their torsos. Ben trailed butterfly kisses down Rex's chest and stomach, coming to rest at his belly button. He moved back up to start on Rex's neck, gently flicking his tongue out every once in a while to swipe at Rex's warm skin. Ben pulled back to look into his partner's warm brown eyes and was met with an expression full of trust and love. Blushing, Ben shut his eyes and pressed a kiss to Rex's lips.

Rex tightened his embrace of Ben, letting his hands rest at the small of his back. When the kiss broke, Rex leaned down and began covering Ben's chest with soft kisses. His hands went lower to cup the soft cheeks of Ben's ass, squeezing lightly. Ben let out a surprised squeak but stroked Rex's shoulder to let him know that it was okay.

It wasn't until Rex's hands dipped below Ben's hemline that the little bit of fear from earlier returned. Only, it wasn't just the small ripple of fear from before. This time, it was terror. Pure and unadulterated terror.

_He was lying on his back. His sheets covered him, but it wasn't enough. He was still exposed. Vulnerable. Hands fondled him slowly, gently. From above him came the sound of a sharp intake of breath. The hands sped up. Faster and faster and then they turned rough and violent. He desperately waited for it to end, eyes shut tight. He didn't want to see, didn't want to be there, didn't want this._

_It felt wrong. It felt wrong and he didn't know why and and and and..._

_He didn't know why. He was confused and scared and oh god please let it stop, let it stop. He felt gross and dirty and afraid and his whole body was covered in goosebumps and he wanted to scream._

_He... he'd trusted... so why? Why was this happening? What was happening? He wanted to cry. He wanted to run away, he wanted to fight, he wanted to scream and kick and scream and scream and scream. He needed to cry. Needed to run, to get away, get away, GET AWAY._

_Fear kept him motionless. Trapped. He couldn't cry. Couldn't make a sound. Couldn't move. Couldn't be caught awake. Just a little more. Hold on a little more. It'll be over soon. Breathe slow. Breathe. In. Out. In. Out. Pretend to be asleep and it'll be over faster. Be still as the dead. Stay silent. Stay safe. He couldn't... couldn't... couldn't..._

"Ben! Ben! Ben, are you okay? Ben!" Rex's panicked voice slowly grew louder and clearer. His face swam into focus, eyes wide and fearful.

Ben's heart was pounding painfully hard in his chest, his breath coming in short gasps. Hot tears poured from his eyes, mixing with snot and phlegm on its way down his face. He clutched the comforter in tight fists as his whole body shuddered with uncontrolled sobs. He didn't know how long he stayed like that, only that he was disoriented and afraid.

Slowly, the adrenaline and shaking sobs left him, seeping out of his body like blood from an open wound. Ben sniffled and wiped his palms over his eyes, trying to dry his tears as much as he could. When he could once again see without tears obstructing his vision, Ben glanced down at himself, half-expecting to be five years old again, wearing nothing but an oversized tshirt.

To his immense relief, he found that despite feeling as weak and scared as a small child, he was his normal sixteen year old self. Ben released a shaky breath and glanced around the room.

Rex sat on the bed a short distance from Ben, a tissue box in one hand, the other extended hesitantly towards him. After a moment of silence, Rex spoke.

"Ben? You with me?" His voice was soft and laced with concern. Rex held out the tissues towards Ben, who gladly accepted them.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm fine. Yeah." Ben's voice shook, an undeniable tightness in his throat. He wiped off his face and blew his nose several times before finally pushing the used tissues and the box off the side of his bed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Ben could heard the hesitance in his boyfriend's voice, and immediately regretted succumbing to his fear.

God, how had his breakdown made Rex feel? He probably thought it was his fault. Ben had to let Rex know that he wasn't to blame, that it was Ben's fault for not being able to handle his own memories. At least he had memories to haunt him. Rex? Well, Rex had nothing.

"It's just... it's fine now. Just some... memories... that I, you know, thought I'd suppressed." Ben knew Rex could hear how fake his lighthearted tone was, but he did it anyways. "It's not your fault. Totally cheesy, and definitely a different context, but: it's not you, it's me. So... don't worry about it." He forced a smile, but the edges of his mouth wouldn't stop twitching.

Rex frowned. Aside from the corners of his mouth, Ben's left eye was also twitching. He was lying about something, and Rex knew him well enough to be pretty sure that it was about being fine.

"Ben, can I hug you?" Ben took a moment to consider the question, then nodded slowly.

Before Rex could even begin to move closer, Ben got up on his knees and moved towards Rex. As soon as he reached his boyfriend, he collapsed into him. Ben curled up and pressed his face into Rex's chest as fresh tears welled up in his eyes. Rex immediately yanked up the comforter and wrapped it around Ben, then pulled his shaking body close.

They sat like that for some time, Rex just holding Ben and rocking him side to side as the latter rode out the last of the waves of emotional turmoil. Finally, all his energy spent, Ben fell asleep in Rex's arms.

Rex briefly contemplated laying Ben down and leaving, but thought better and decided to stay. If Ben had any nightmares, should be there for him. When Ben woke up, Rex should be there to reassure him that he was safe.

Satisfied with his decision, Rex gently laid Ben down with his head on the pillow, then lay down beside him. The soft, even breaths from Ben let Rex know that he was free from nightmares -- at least, for now -- and, finding peace in that, Rex closed his eyes. He'd let Ben talk to him about what happened whenever he was ready.


End file.
